serenechi

Please, allow me to rant once again...

Today is (once again) a day when nothing goes the way I wished for...

It's a work of inches, when stress just piles up and my luck is just plain screwed...

And just as I'm seeing red, the guy next to me in this internet cafe says something... just right...

He's talking to his friend and saying that "Masyado kang seryoso. Mga taong seryoso agad namamatay..."

How true... I should know, I had stress and its fatal effects as my research topic last year...

Not yet 18, not yet an adult and already stressed...

Mom told me that the happiest people are not those with the most but those who need the least...

SO true... and yet... so hard to do...

In world whose ideology rests on capitalism, maintaning that principle would be quite the challenge. And I realize, that the things I stress about (school being at the front) are fleeting things and the things sacrificed because of these problems (friends and family, good times, memories) should far outweigh it.

So... what I'm trying to say (in a round-about way because damn it if I'm not so effing proud) is that I'm sorry... to my friends, to my family and most of all to myself... because I'm acting like a psychotic work-a-holic-stressed-bitch-with-a-12-foot-work-pole-up-my-ass. I'm so sorry... and I ask (since everyone experiences what I go through) to be more understanding. THat's so hard if you yourself are having a bad day. But... hopefully... we'll forgive each other and ourselves. There are things more important than grades... there are the people around us... no need to be so ambitious that we forget what gives real flavor to our lives... and the rest after can only be trully appreciated when we've worked our asses off.

Yep, that's the spirit.

serenechi

I feel sick...

really sick...

Like puke bubbling in my stomach hurrying up my esophagus and out my mouth...

Not a pretty feeling...

I HATE IT!

And he is the sole reason...

serenechi

Sometimes I can’t help but feel like a tiny little ant marching across a vast expanse of wood not knowing what it is I’m moving over or what that big human leaning over me will get into her head and do to me.

I feel like a part of one specie whose millions of members die every second. Such deaths ranging from drowning in all sorts of liquids including water, wine, soda, perfume and alcohol (ouch); getting stepped on, blown away, squished and in general killed in all sorts of undignified and usually unnecessary manner.

In much the same way that I don't care whether I step on ants as I go along my way, Fate cares not for whatever woes may befall me. Had you ever seen your cell phone dismantled before your very eyes, had you ever been told that you'd have to pay 1800 bucks for a new LCD when all you have left in your coffers is 2000, you'd know what I'm talking about.

Had you MP3 player ever gave up on you and left you all music less when you just bought it last month, you'd know what I'm talking about.

Had you ever walked a few kilometers in the rain with friends and lovers all around you while you remain a single, solitary figure under a black umbrella you'd know what I'm talking about.

Had you ever felt that you're on the brink of bankruptcy at the age of 18, you'd know what I'm talking about.

Had you ever forced yourself to be cheerful when there's a lump the size of a tennis ball in your throat and a hot prickling behind your eyes, you'd know what I'm talking about.

Had you ever had so many mistakes for which you had no one to blame but yourself and your utter stupidity, you'd know what I'm talking about.

Had you ever seen an ant limping its way across a wooden desk, its hindlegs broken and useless... you'd know what I'm talking about.

Had all of these things happened in just one day, you'd know what I'm talking about.

But then... sometimes... even when these things happen... somethign else need to be mentioned...

Had you ever seen an ant limping across a wooden desk and surrounded by its fellow ants who lift the lame ant up and to safety... now THAT'S what I'm talking about!! (unless ants have an undocumented life of cannibalism then... it just proves my former point).

Oh fate... fate.. fate... fate... Shakespeare once said.."You may my glories and my state depose... but not my griefs I am yet king of those..."

Goodnight and goodluck.

serenechi

Shit...

The story with no ending has ended...

I think maybe it's been a year since I first read the monster fanfic but, damn... well at least there's a happy ending. I was so scared it would turn out to be a SasuSaku but thankfully, Leafygirl was merciful enough. It was an ItaSaku and therefore it ended as ItaSaku. Predictable ending but I most certainly am not complaining.

Damn, tears in my eyes! Huhuhu... I'm in love again!

serenechi

Ah the pangs of being underage...

I so thought that I'd get a bit more freedom, well to some measure I did... that is, I can go almost anywhere I want to go... as long as I know how to get there of course. I can even drink because seeing as how students make up most of the population here in the University belt, most bars are lenient about serving alcohol to us needy teenagers.

Well... I can do these things without consent. Freedom gets into your head you know until that inevitable day that the real world comes crashing down again and you find yourself once more... so... bounded.

Did I use that word in the right context?

Anyway...

Animax is hosting right now, yeah right now... a contest a watch-a-thon contest to the last man standing. 24 hours of watching anime and a chance to getmy paws on 500 or 300 or 200 dollars as in 26000 pesos or ... or... well you do the math...

however, to participants or those wishing to participate and are below 19 years of age, we have to get our parents to sign their consent forms. On the day of the contest. Meaning your guardian has to be there. Wonderful. So there goes all my opportunities for earning some cash. Cash is always handy you know. Sure people say it can't buy hapiness but it sure can buy a lot of things besides. There's nothing left to do but sigh over fate I suppose.

Tsh.